Voodoo's Room

This is my room. My name is Voodoo.

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Location: D/FW, Texas

Monday, October 17, 2005

Lazy Drunk

I am a lazy drunk. I'm serious. It's really a horrible affliction.

Each day I leave the office and I think, "Mmmmm time to get a drink on..." There are about 439068 liquor stores all within walking distance from my office (well, maybe not walking....but close) and I think of yummy Jagermeister and delicious beer and wonderful whiskey. I get so excited thinking, "What to buy, what to buy...it's all so good!"

And there's so much traffic...and stop lights....and idiots on the road. And I think, "Ugh..I can't stop or I'll NEVER get home." Too lazy to stop and then have to fight to get back out into traffic. So I drive on.

Once on the freeway I start to look for liquor stores. Once I get to where they can be seen from the freeway I realize that if I actually exited the freeway I would be #1: in danger and #2: be lost. I can't stand the thought of snaking around the dingy part of downtown Dallas just for a bottle of liquor. I also hate the thought of being shot.

So I drive on.

The town I live in is small and it's dry. But there is a town only 15 minutes from where I live that does sell wine and beer. I think to myself, "Well, forget the hard stuff. But a six-pack would be delightful. I can stop and get some beer." Since I live so far from work, by the time I get home my backside and legs are asleep from being in the car so long...the thought of getting out of the car is wonderful. The thought of getting out of the car to buy beer is bliss. But, alas, there's always a traffic jam right where the beer 7-Eleven is and I am so focused on NOT going 10 mph that I forget all about the beer. Finally, traffic picks back up and there's one more exit where I can stop for the nectar of the Gods....and I look at the clock. Sheesh. I've been on the road for almost 45 minutes.

So I drive on. I just want to go home.

So here I am. A drunk. Too lazy to drink.

3 Comments:

Blogger Michelle Miles said...

heh... I'm so in touch with this.

12:23 PM  
Blogger Sandy J said...

I can so understand!!!!

5:57 PM  
Blogger The Ninjamunkey said...

I feel your pain. I too imagine a cold frosty beverage when I get home, only to realize that after an hour or more on the road, the only thing I really want to do is put on my comfy clothes, and find a quiet spot to bash my head repeatedly against a soft wall. Cheers!

4:18 AM  

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