Voodoo's Room

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Location: D/FW, Texas

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Self-Cesarean

I suppose a small amount of background information would be helpful before I get into this…

I am the oldest of four girls. The two youngest of sisters are pregnant. One is supposed to be due in December the other in February, both with little girls. For some time now, we’ve been quite suspicious that my niece who was predicted to appear in December would probably be pretty early. My sister has looked farther along than her due date suggested from the moment she started getting baby-belly. Combine that with the fact that it’s been a pretty horrible pregnancy (high blood pressure, a terrible allergic reaction to an unfortunate bee incident, etc etc.) we knew it was possible the doctor would schedule this delivery to end the woe and torment.

On Monday my sis started having contractions. Since the doctor still thinks this baby is coming in December, they call her and she says go to the ER. They follow her instructions, get labor stopped and monitor the baby closely all night because her heart rate was a little slow. Finally satisfied that all is well her doctor releases her and puts her on strict bed rest for the remaining duration of the pregnancy.

Now…all of us are high-energy, loud, overly active people. But this particular sister of mine is definitely running on a hemi while the rest of us are V-8s. (I don’t know shit about cars….this may have no meaning …how ‘bout power…this sister is the F-14 while the rest of us are 747s. Hell, they are all jets….I have no idea if any of this makes sense so I’m going to quit.) This is something close to a death sentence for her. Combine this with a 3-year-old son that she is trying to keep up with and a husband who is a lot like her and she’s huge and pregnant and now subjected to bed and she’s pretty unhappy.

My mother informed me last night that she would be attending the follow up appointment today with sister and brother-in-law and that she would call with an update. Fortunately, all is well. Mom and baby are doing fine and (surprise) the baby is turned all the way down and is looking like she’s preparing to make an appearance soon.

Then my mother informs me of the following conversation. My sister, elated to be out of bed, nearly runs into the doctor’s office. The nurses and staffers recognize her and welcome her and her husband. There are also several pregnant women (some with men in tow who, like my brother-in-law, are probably wondering why they wanted children) in the waiting area. My sister has the following conversation with the nurse and one polite fellow preggy:

Sister: “HI!!!”

Nurse: “Hi, sweetie! How are you feeling?”

Sister: “Well, if the doctor doesn’t take me off of this damn bed rest today I am going home and performing a self-cesarean.”

Nurse: (pause) Oh my.

Pregnant Lady: “Oh honey. How long have you been on bed rest?”

Sister: “Since Monday.”

According to my mother, this brought the house down. And I hope its ½ as funny a read and it was to hear the story.

My niece will be here soon and I can’t wait. But I think my sister is close to refusing to wait any longer.

4 Comments:

Blogger Michelle Miles said...

LOL! Your sister is precious! :) And doctors are idiots (why we BOTH had home births...)

10:37 AM  
Blogger Voodoo's Room said...

Amen, sister! Midwives are the way to go!!

10:38 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

Congratulations, Voodoo. :)

You sister (or well, you're whole family for that matter) sounds just like mine. We can't do the bed rest for more then a day and then it starts to get really tense.

Good luck with everything.

8:21 AM  
Blogger Living Part Deux said...

That was Wednesday; this is Friday. I'm hoping everything is still okay and your sister is not swinging form the chandelier or performing scary home surgeries. She sounds pretty wired. Funny how helpless this kind of thing makes even the most fearless.

6:40 PM  

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